Newcomer’s Page–Reducing Stress with the “Acceptance Button”

step 12 magazine wilhite

by Kristin Wilhite, HHP

We all have buttons easily accessed by our loved ones. Imagine if we had a button giving instant acceptance of what is that initiates a calm response—no defensive or attacking reactions, no hate, no drama, just the willingness to see things for what they are and then act in a healthy way for you and your family.

Growing up in a culture where people had a difficult time letting go of things not working out their way left me feeling guilty and ashamed when I didn’t take the path my parents choose for me. I felt I was a disappointment to my parents. As I have gotten older and studied holistic health care, I’ve realized the importance of not carrying guilt and shame. For years, I have worked diligently to create inner peace, healthy perspectives and lifestyle. Why? Because I want to be healthy, positive and HAPPY!

In June, Orlando, FL faced a horrific shooting. I believe if we are better able to accept each other’s differences, ourselves, and our children as they are, there would be less hurt. No matter what the motivation of the gunman’s attack, had he grown up in a loving household where he was taught to respect himself and others, would he have been driven to commit such a heinous act?

Lack of acceptance leads us into inner conflict, frustration, anger and self-destruction. I have seen children raised with inner conflicts due to cultural differences. It is up to parents to assimilate, then help their children integrate, not just expect their children to cope with the traditions of the past.

Having witnessed the sadness my family experienced from not knowing how to accept what is, I became an over-accepter. Resentment, emotional pain, resistance, and lack of forgiveness nearly tore my family apart. I am an empath, I felt it all—no matter how much my parents thought they could shelter me from it. My tolerance for unhealthy behavior led me into many experiences I wish I’d never had. In my adult life, I have chosen to learn tools to forgive, accept, connect, nurture, communicate, and not be co-dependent! Of course, these experiences taught me a lot, including how not to do it.

Putting up with abuse never served my highest good. It only served the part of me that wanted to perpetuate my guilt, resentment, anger and pain. I made a conscious decision to stop cause and change! I say this solely because I want you to know, just like happiness is a choice, so is living with negativity and self-destruction.

At this point in my life, I am careful with who I allow into my circle and how I go about my day. I choose to be conscious of my actions, my words, my energy and how I treat others.

There is great value in honoring that there is more than one method to get from Point A to Point B. My husband and I do things differently. If I judged him for how he does it differently, there would be unnecessary drama in our lives. I have seen this kind of drama drive people to the demise of their marriage. It’s important that we accept each other’s unique way we do things. Rarely are we ever going to think alike, and when we do—it sure is entertaining. But when we don’t, we look to honor each other’s ways.

The more we can allow others to be themselves, the more they will feel confident in knowing we trust them, which is the foundation of respect, and ultimately LOVE.

Kristin Wilhite, HHP is the Owner/Founder of www.SustainableHolistic.com DBA Progressive Holistic Living: Providing Professional Holistic Health Care Since 1995. Check out her online class “Put the Happy in the Holidays” To Relieve your Holiday Blues. Info: http://www.sustainableholistic.com/Depression%20Solutions/remove-holiday-blues.

More Newcomer’s Pages