Life on Main Street by Morgan Thorpe

step 12 magazine recovery addiction

The bright blue sky has been replaced by its distant cousin, grey, and the palm tree silhouettes wave gently in the rain.  It’s a cold day in Huntington Beach, and it will be dark in an hour or so. As I sit in my office on Main Street, I peer out the window to see the nameless passersby.

There is a family getting into their SUV, dad is buckling in his Mini-me version of mom, a tan homeless man is walking on the wet cement with his bare feet, and a group of tourists are window shopping in front of the gift shops.

It’s a simple life here, a good life, and I am happy with where I am and who I have become. I have AA to thank for that.  When I first came into the rooms nearly two and a half years ago, I was broken, I was desperate and I was hopeless. Now, I realize each day is a gift we should not take for granted.

For what tomorrow will bring, I do not know, but I do know I wouldn’t be where I am if it hadn’t been for all of those people who helped me along the way. You may not know it now, but I thank you. Perhaps you were the one who held the door open for me that day when I was too weak to open it myself. Maybe it was you that smiled at me the day I had no more smiles left. I don’t remember, but it may have been you who told me, on a dark and desolate day, to never, ever, ever give up. Someone held a flashlight for me in my deepest, darkest hours. The faces I do not remember, but the hope and kindness lit a lantern deep within me that I now proudly carry to others.

I see that, today, God made our hands that so perfectly fit together for a reason. I see that today there is someone and something to live for. You may not know it yet, but perhaps one day as you are walking down Main Street in the rain, I will pause before I open the door for you, or I will smile at you, just as you are about to look away, or maybe you will overhear me telling someone to never give up, keep looking up, do not quit five minutes before the miracle happens.  That’s what we do today because we cannot keep what we have unless we give it away.

I have a lot to be grateful for today. I may not have all of the material possessions I used to but that is okay because what matters is that I am able to turn around, and share the hope that was so freely given to me.

The bright blue sky fades into darkness as I leave my office.  I smile as I look up at the stars. My times have changed, I think to myself, my it is a beautiful world I say softly aloud.  I am filled with gratitude for the kindness of others over the years. As I walked to my car a stranger passes by, we smile at each other just as we are about to look away. And after a brief moment I finally understand; God has been here on Main Street all along.