Whether recovering from an injury, surgery or a traumatic experience, we must give ourselves adequate time to fully recover. During this time, we must commit to patience, reasonable expectations, a willingness to adapt and surrender to the process. It appears we don’t understand this in our culture. And usually the cause is that people have not been properly informed of these parameters.
It’s important to make adjustments to our daily routine, be aware of our emotional states, phase(s) of progress and be diligent to gently communicate to those around us so they can do their best to support us while we are recovering—even from addiction. We must find compassion and forgiveness for ourselves to move forward and progress. I teach a method of forgiveness that has been proven effective in Health Psychology. It can be done by any one of any faith, and it works!
I truly believe we are here on this planet to learn (and love). If humans weren’t meant to make mistakes, how would we learn? Our missing links are the tools that it takes to let go! Unfortunately, we are not taught this in kindergarten or a self-care class. It’s never too late to learn tools that can teach us to be ‘easy on ourselves.’ All it takes is the willingness to learn and a commitment to implement them.
To get the most out of recovery, we must be willing look at ourselves with honest eyes and a gentle heart. Because much like we cannot truly love someone else unless we love ourselves, the only way we can fully forgive another is to forgive ourselves.
Until we forgive, we suffer. Forgiveness allows us to be freed of the story so we can move on. The reason PTSD exists is because the person with it has not yet learned how to ‘shake off’ the story, and relives it in his/her mind …which recreates the neurological responses from the time of the trauma. With Neuro Linguistics (NLP), we can erase the trauma response and even the memory, if desired. We have tools for relieving the unresolved emotions and changing unwanted behaviors. All done with the simplicity of a guided meditation. It’s painless and for some it can even be fun—sounds hard to believe until you have done it.
When we realize that our self-preservation mechanism has grown out of balance, we need to decide where we want to put our focus.
You see, maybe we have had unreasonable expectations or maybe we just didn’t understand, care or whatever, but the fact you are reading this makes me believe there is a part of you that wants a better life. One where you are manifesting your desires and living happily. At each moment, we have the power to choose what action we want to take or what thought we want to think.
Remember that method of forgiveness I referred to earlier? It is an evolved, modern form of the ancient, Hawaiian “Ho’o pono pono” forgiveness process. One key concept of this forgiveness method is that once you cut these energetic chords (the energy you are holding onto bound in your connection with the person, e.g., resentment, anger, etc.), you and the other person are free to move on without the old energy tying you to the old behavior.
I love the phrase “we are all a work of art in progress.” There is no lack of available tools. Seek new coping skills that encourage self-preservation instead of anger, fear, or self sabotage. Get in the habit of asking yourself, “Is this good for me, my relationship, my family, and my environment?” The answers will guide you..