Initially, the concept of recovery scared the life out of me… this “life” that I could never lead again. Never. That’s a long time to not do a thing, especially something you’ve done for so long that you don’t even think about what you’re doing while you do it. Just stopping and changing my entire lifestyle on a pinpoint seemed impossible. Without “it“ how could I be me?
In recovery, I learned that being “me” meant being true to the true me. In reality, I’m not the wild, uninhibited party-girl you think I am. It was my addiction that put me at the forefront of every event, dancing on center stage, loud and proud and unashamed of whatever inevitable catastrophe lay ahead.
Recovery lead me along a lengthy twisting rocky path to someone I had almost forgotten about. Me. The true me is an introvert. I’d rather stick needles in my eyeballs than be at the center of a crowd. While in recovery, I have gleefully discovered that I am at my happiest while alone, undistracted and focused on my passion: writing. I have learned that there are no better drugs than the euphoria of a finished novel, or a brilliant review. I thrive best in my she-cave, left alone to do my own thing.
Recovery has taught me how to reach my goals one step at a time, sometimes one breath at a time, simultaneously showing me how to be patient, understanding and humble. Recovery has also shown me there are no limits to what I can do, or who I can be, as long as I am always true to the true me. Knowing this, I dance with joy! (Alone.)
recovering with flair,